Monthly Archives: April 2013

Whence Goeth Thy Barque, Man’s Faithful Friend?

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‘Here’s a silver lining for you, when your faithful Fido dies:
you can ring us to come by and share your grief.
We’ll remove his corpse so quickly that you won’t be plagued by flies.
We will say a prayer if wanted, one that’s brief,
and remove Fido for burial, to your relief.’
(Once in our plant, he’s our raw material to render
with stewpot, saw, and industrial-grade blender.
Farewell, dear Pet! His soul flies to its maker,
leaving nothing of the canine’s bark or gender
in the meatballs we sell on.) Your Undertaker.

(reflecting on news story Spanish pets could be in meatballs)

Spring Flight of Escherichia coli O157:H7

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‘Forgive me, for I know whom I unglue.
Scrod in Boston, gulled in London Colney.
The weight of troths plied knowingly untrue
stunt me while coughing, pulled through Horton’s colon
with broths he scarfed that glowed with snail-trail dew.
Scrod, again in Boston, on the train,
rate tape wrapped around the captain’s head.
Chips in Chipping Norton. Late-night curry
of Alsatian, sating after-hours drinkers.
Press-ganged pralines ending up as clinkers.’

(translated from the original New Bacterium as dictated by Escherichia coli O157:H7)

Going: Up Market

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The affluent upper-middle-class imagines,
because they work hard, and are educated
as well or better than the super-rich,
that the two groups share a worldview. They are right:
‘deserving what one gets,’ and vice versa.

The upper-middle-class is disappearing,
(with the middle-middles and the lower-middles),
while imagining that the super-rich will notice,
and extend a helping hand to them. They’re wrong.
The rich clump them in the group they call subversives.

Fine Furniture Company

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Competing countries had us in a bind.
Health activists complained about our glue
that gave our workers foot-death. Some went blind.
It looked like our old glory days were through.
After church one day while gazing at its steeple,
I saw, miraculous, and clothed in white,
a Royale Angel. ‘You’ve still got poor people,’
the angel said. ‘So use them. Rich man’s right.
They work ten-hour shifts. They don’t complain.
Where would they go? They’d starve without the jobs
that you control. They’re too down to feel pain
in ways that count.’ I love these captive yobs.
I call their Christian names at the Walmart store,
and know, when they fall sick, I can get more.

Cf. The New York Times article, As OSHA Emphasizes Safety, Long-Term Health Risks Fester