Saint Patrick, the only man to see green snakes
in Ireland where no serpent ever slid,
would screech ‘Hiss off’ at christenings and wakes
until the Pope sent envoys to forbid
the use of Irish whiskey where he preached.

He got religious orders and a miter on his hat
and drove away the snakes that would have reached
green Eire. He gave his whiskey to the cat.

When Irish eyes are smiling, the English say it’s drink
but tonight it’s ‘Up the Irish’ and it’s ‘Irish rule OK’
and I am not the only one who sees The Serpent wink.

It will be another year until Saint Patrick’s day
so dance while dram and Guinness pint are drawn
and mind your step. Don’t squelch that leprechaun.